The Hidden Currency of Connection

Networking isn’t just nice - it’s necessary

Whether you are a natural extrovert who thrives in groups and fills up their battery when surrounded by others or a shy introvert who would rather charge up amongst a stack of books or a quiet space in solitude, you need networking.

Here, we’ll cover the…

1. ❓What

2. 🤨 Why

3. ⏰ When

4. 🗺️ Where

5. 🥸 Who

…of Networking! Let’s boogie. 🪩

Want to watch instead? You got it, dude. 👍

❓What

Networking isn’t one specific thing. It can be in-person or online, in live conversations or via text. Networking can span multiple participants, too, as with large groups, small groups, or even one-on-one.

Ultimately, networking is about pushing personal growth and building your own, personal community.

It takes time to cultivate and curate that community. Meeting someone once does not automatically add them to your community. Relationships are fostered over time!

Perhaps to foster a new relationship, you might see someone at a recurring event, follow up after meeting them, or schedule a coffee chat to get to know them better. The more you connect, the more that relationship will grow.

I’m not saying you have to be a best friend to everyone you meet and hang out with all the time. However, you should make an effort to connect with folks you admire, who inspire you, help you grow, or just make you feel good.

Always remember, if anyone crosses a line or you’re not mutually benefitting, you don’t have to keep engaging. Give yourself permission to disengage.

🤨 Why

One obvious benefit is that networking can help you when you are in need. For instance, you need help finding a job, funding sources for a startup, or mentor options, for example.

Networking doesn’t have to be - and really should not be - done only when you need something, though. Yes, it takes work, but having a strong network can only help you in the long run. Remember, we’re ultimately building up our community!

If you put in true effort to your network, I can guarantee you will find opportunities you never considered! I’ve been asked to speak, join a few active projects, and organize a local women in tech Meetup group. These opportunities all blossomed through networking!

Most importantly, you might be surprised by the new friendships you find in your community. Especially if you are a remote worker!

I’ve met wonderful people all over the globe, throughout my US state, and within different realms of tech that have blown me away. 🤩

⏰ When

Spoiler Alert: Anytime is a great time to network!

Networking can happen at the grocery store or a cafe while waiting in line. It can happen at the water cooler in an office or on social channels in your online communication platform, like Slack. It might even happen at an art class or a child’s sporting event!

More than likely, you’re familiar with conferences or organized events. These events are great, often providing at least one similar connection you can use as a springboard, like a Cloud conference or a UI/UX meetup. Many have built-in event structure, helping some folks feel more at ease.

An important thing I like to remember, particularly for organized events, is to consider what times actually work best for you.

You want to present your best self, not your completely exhausted or stressed self!

If you are especially nervous or anxious, you may already struggle to get to a networking event. When you’re tired, will you actually push through and go?

For instance:

• With family or child obligations on the weeknights, maybe look for weekend events when you have more support.

• Work during the day? Perhaps an early morning coffee session or run club is best.

• Morning people could struggle with weeknights and should look for earlier events.

• Vice versa, night owls might seek out a later gathering.

Confession: Sometimes I don’t want to go to an event either, for one reason or another. In those moments, I check in and ask if this event serves me.

If the answer is no, then I politely decline in an RSVP situation or don’t go if it’s an open event. I’ve also dropped out of events I’ve paid for when I realized it was not for me or I was not in a headspace where it would be worthwhile.

If the answer is yes, I find a way to reframe the situation and go anyway. In these times, I’ve rarely ever left not having enjoyed myself. It’s generally worth the push!

🗺️ Where

We know that any time can be network-building time, so by extension, you can network from almost anywhere!

That said, I realized in a conversation the other day that getting started is one of the hardest parts of this process. Where should you start?

I recommend finding safe spaces to start, especially for those who are new, nervous, or from underrepresented groups. I know it can be scary at first!

It might take a few attempts, so be patient, but look for your people! Whether that’s what you do for work like a product group, or it’s a group for underrepresented folks like Out in Tech or ColorStack for people of color in tech. Maybe instead, it’s a group around something you do on the side, like gardening or gaming. It doesn’t have to be about tech!

Start small; start somewhere where you feel comfortable going and being yourself.

If you become too uncomfortable, like if the group is too large or you’re overwhelmed, give yourself permission to leave.

Just promise me you’ll try again or try another option!

Once you start building your connections, it will build your confidence to try new groups and meet more people over time. Your new connections could become new friends, mentors, or even just point you toward another event where you might feel comfortable or welcome!

🥸 Who

Of course, it can be easier to connect with people doing similar things as you, but I want to challenge you to find connections outside of your own tech stack, industry, or comfort zone.

When you bring in varied people, you build up your empathy and learn more about other areas, which can improve your problem-solving capabilities. Plus, you’ll likely have someone to call on when you need their expertise!

You should share about yourself, what you’re working on, or what you need help with (like finding a job or identifying startup funding sources). However, find appropriate times for this and don’t hog the conversation.

Consider the Maya Angelou quote:

“…people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

It is so applicable to networking!

It’s not about you. The key to building bonds lies with others. If you are asking more questions than you are talking about yourself, you’re probably doing well. 👍

If not, try to stretch your curiosity muscles and ask more about them, their passions, what they are working on, etc.!

💭 Closing Thoughts

Whatever you do for networking, remember to be yourself! Not everyone will like you, and you won’t like everyone, and that’s okay. We don’t need to force it - that only leads to wasted energy.

Bring yourself and an open mind; I’m sure you’ll find more in networking than you expected!

🥳 BONUS

Someone in my network mentioned that they hadn’t been networking for the last several years. They wanted to get back into it and started reading Networking for People Who Hate Networking by Devora Zack. Although not yet finished, they said there were multiple helpful tips even within the first half!

*I have not read this book myself. No guarantees of anything!

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For more stuff from me, find me on LinkedIn / YouTube or catch what else I'm up to at mindi.omg.lol

Thanks for reading! Did I miss anything, or would you like to add anything? Let me know! I appreciate constructive feedback so we can all learn together. 🙌